In this life, all symphonies remain unfinished…A Review of “The Holy Longing”
I chose this book because the author, Fr. Ron Rolheiser, has captured my attention with his newspaper columns which show up periodically in my local diocese paper and from his bi-weekly emails. He is extremely intelligent in his approach to Catholicism, yet somehow also really cuts to the heart of the matter in a plainspoken way in just a few short words. Provided for free by the Blogging for Books program, I grabbed this one the instant I saw it to hear this author expound in more detail.
After reading the blog, if you’ d like a copy, post a comment sharing why & I’ll give away 2 copies to random winners after 10 people have commented.
“The Holy Longing: The Search for a Christian Spirituality,” which was originally written 15 years ago and is now updated and re-released, attempts to explore the longing, the burning, the dissatisfaction many of us feel or have felt in our lives… that unquenched desire we eternally have burning inside. Basically, he reminds us that we were not meant for this world, so we will not be truly consummated and fully happy until we reach heaven. As he says beautifully, “…in this life, all symphonies remain unfinished.”
This affects all aspects of our lives and is important to keep in mind when we despair over some event or circumstance. It also helps to explain suffering. We WILL suffer here because we have not reached our full potential and we should accept that and offer that suffering as work to our Lord — or through the Blessed Virgin to our Lord — that His will be done.
Here are some circumstances where you might find yourself, and where if you can accept its incompletion, you can find the most peace here on earth:
- A marriage that is past the honeymoon stage
- A family member who has fallen away from the faith
- An unfulfilled dream or career
- The loss of a job
- Sexual desire unquenched by your significant other
Father Rolheiser says the realization that all will not be completed in this life must be mourned and allowed to ascent to heaven just as Jesus did:
“Each of us must, at some point, go into the desert and bewail his or her virginity. It is when we fail to do this, and because we fail to do it, that we go often through life demanding, angry, bitter, disappointed and too prone to blame others and life itself for our frustrations. When we fail to mourn properly our incomplete lives then this incompleteness becomes a gnawing restlessness, a bitter center, that robs our lives of all delight… We are built for the infinite, Grand Canyons without a bottom. Because of that we will, this side of eternity, always be lonely, restless, incomplete, still a virgin–living in the torment of the insufficiency of everything attainable.”
While on first read, this sounds a bit depressing, I think that the realization that all will not be perfect in this life is far more beneficial than to go through life as, he says, bitter, disappointed and angry. I know far too many people like that. Instead, accepting that my dream to become a dancer one day or that my lifestyle is far from what I imagined it would be is OK and normal, gives me more peace than becoming a dancer or living in greater physical abundance would ultimately bring me.
For married couples, he addresses the loss of the honeymoon phase and how they need to accept each new phase of their relationship,letting the past incarnation go.
“To sustain anything in this life we must continually recognize that the first fervor, that special electricity we would die for, never lasts and that we must be open to receive a new spirit within the relationship,” he says. “The downside of this is that all honeymoons die, but the upside is that God is always giving us something richer, deeper life and fuller spirit.”
I highly recommend this book for those who enjoy philosophy and really digging into the depths of the theology of the Catholic church. As I just heard Teresa Tomeo say, “This is a thinking person’s religion.” I couldn’t agree more, and Fr. Rolheiser is one of its great thinkers of our age. Philosophy has always appealed to me, as does a good intellectual debate, and this book strikes that chord. It’s funny, I always thought religion was for the ignorant (I thought they were just blindly believing an ideology without questioning it), but how wrong I was. Catholicism is the ultimate for intellectuals. It is the true fulfillment of all knowledge by adding the element of faith.
To sum up this book, I love this quote: “The dream for perfect consummation, like the dream to become a superstar, must, at some point, be mourned and left to ascend. Otherwise…our daydreams will perennially rob us of the simple happiness of life.”
Blogging for Books provided this book to me for free in exchange for an honest review.
This book sounds interesting. I have never heard of Fr. Rolheiser. I would love to read this book.
This book doesn’t sound depressing unless you have not come to grips with reality yet. Living in denial of our relatively short lifespan leads one to feel that there are no boundaries. There are and it’s called mortality. So glad we have immortality awaiting us. I love the idea that we should let our disappointments ascend to God.
Me too! It is SO very freeing, I think, and allows us to be at peace.
Fr. Rolheiser is an amazing teaching and speaker. I would love a copy of his book. He is giving a weekend retreat in August in Minnesota that I am planning to attend….wouldn’t it be great to get the book autographed??! 🙂
I love your blog! Thanks so much for your great inspirations and insights. My “hobby” has become my faith and learning more and more about what it means to be Catholic. There is so much to learn and so many layers..it never gets boring!
Thanks so much for commenting and reading my blog. Glad you find it helpful 🙂 What a great hobby!! Say “hi” to Fr. Rolheiser for me!
Thanks so much for bringing this book to my attention. Handing this out to people in the world today could be a full-time ministry. I hear a lot of “I’m just not happy”, primarily because of unrealistic expectations of life on this earth. They don’t realize that this is not our home, we are but travelers, journeying back to Him, our True Love!
Great comment, Terri! Did you want to be entered into the book giveaway? Thanks!
Thanks, Lyn..yes, I would love to be entered in the book giveaway. Sorry, guess I forgot to mention that!
Hi Terri-
You are one of the winners of The Holy Longing. If you will email me your address at [email protected], I’ll send it along. Thanks again for your comment!
Lyn
This book sounds very interesting, and I have never heard of Fr. Rochester. It seems to have fresh perspective on how we can find peace in this world while waiting to get to heaven. Who doesn’t need a little more of that! As a new Catholic, I find myself reading everything I can get my hands on and there still to always be so much more to learn! I’d love to enter this book giveaway!
Thanks Jody! I agree on the desire to read. There is not enough time in the day — or this lifetime! — to get through all the Catholic books I want to read :). How lucky we are to have found such a treasure trove of knowledge!
Hi Jody-
You are one of the winners of The Holy Longing. If you will email me your address at [email protected], I’ll send it along.
This book sounds interesting would love to win a copy….long time Catholic but still trying to strengthen my faith. ..by attending daily mass, reading, spending time in prayer, alot of the time just trying to find the right “balance.
Thanks for commenting Jean. I think we just need 4 more comments. Spread the word! I’d love to give my copies away :).
Looks like I could learn a lot from this book!
Thanks for the comment! Spread the word! 🙂
Sounds like an awesome book! I’m looking forward to getting a copy of it soon.
Before ascending in to Heaven, Jesus said: “I give you My peace.”
However, year after year, decade after decade, my life continues to be extremely tumultuous, which often results in me being “demanding, angry, bitter, (sometimes) blaming others, and (have) frustrations.
My soul continues to be on a quest for His Peace, yet I know that I will not feel it until I learn how and DO abolish those negativities within me, with guidance from the Holy Spirit and with God’s grace.
Perhaps this is the book I need.
Thank you, Lyn, for presenting it.
Wow. That’s a powerful pull quote, and the book sounds interesting…especially to someone like me, distracted all too often by the siren song of perfectionism.
OK, so we are 1 shy of 10 comments 🙂 so I’m going to go ahead and pick our book winners! I randomly selected 2 individuals via a random # generator and the winners are… Terri B. and Jody (with a “y”)! Please email me your address at [email protected] and I’ll ship your books along. Enjoy!
[…] Ron Rolheiser, whose book “The Holy Longing” I reviewed previously, has written a follow up to that amazing work called “Sacred Fire” that delves into how […]