To those outside of Catholicism, Mary is an enigma. Yes, she gave birth to and raised Jesus but her role beyond those duties is not explored in any depth and sometimes dismissed over confusion about different passages referring to her in the New Testament that are seemingly dismissive.

I could talk about Mary for centuries and never be done :), but in this post I want to explore what I have found to be one of her most important roles in salvation history: God’s model of ultimate faith. And I’ll show you why.

But first, I want to explore some reasons why I’ve heard from others that Mary is, instead, unimportant:
1) God “tells” Mary she will conceive Jesus; it’s not a choice for her to accept or reject, even though she assents.
2) Jesus calls her “woman” multiple times not “mother”; therefore, he is dismissing her importance.
3) Jesus is the only intercessor between us and God; we should not pray to Mary.
4) She is rarely mentioned in the New Testament.

Now I want to address why I believe Mary is God’s example to us of how have perfect faith, which will dispel many of the above.

Abraham & Mary

I am currently reading the Bible all the way through (beginning Jan. 1) using a great Bible reading plan from the Coming Home Network. I highly recommend reading it all the way through, as in the previous post about the book EVERY Catholic should read by John Bergsma, you truly cannot understand the New Testament or Old Testament alone. They must be looked at together to truly see what God is telling us.

I had never made any parallel between Abraham and Mary, have you? But Fr. Michael Gaitley in his book “33 Days to Merciful Love: A Do-It-Yourself Retreat,” compares the two in faith — and amazingly so. Abraham is our “Father in Faith” because he believed what God said to him even when it seemed impossible.

God told Abraham he would make his descendants as numerous as the stars, yet he asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, the one through whom God had promised to make of Abraham a great nation. How could he have descendants and be the forefather of a great nation if his son was dead? Yet he proceeded. Hebrews 11:19 says “He considered God was able to raise men even from the dead.” Now, THAT is faith.

Mary, too, was asked to watch as her only son was given up to death. Fr. Gaitley says, “…while Abraham ultimately did not have to go through with the sacrifice, Mary had to watch and be present during the torture and slaughter of her dearly beloved son all the way to its agonizing end” (p. 36, Day 5). Do you think she was wondering how what the angel Gabriel told her — that her Son would “reign over the house of Jacob forever and of his kingdom there would be no end” — could possibly come true now?

Yet, she never lost her faith, and because she saw the act to its completion, where Abraham did not, she perfected faith for us. The New Testament is so much about the perfect fulfillment of the things of the Old Testament and Mary is just one more example.

Supportive Scripture

Though Mary’s mentions are few in the New Testament (St. Louis de Monfort tells us this is by her humble request of God), she is over and over again associated with “faith” when she IS mentioned.

The Annunciation

At the annunciation, the angel Gabriel calls Mary “full of grace,” using a word that means blessed but that is uniquely used only to describe Mary (showing us that she is entirely set apart for God in a unique way) and says God is with her.  Also, if you are “full” of something, there is no room for anything else; if she is full of grace, there is no room for sin, thus, her Immaculate Conception.

While the Angel does not ask for her assent, Luke records it as “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” Why record her assent if it is not important? If God didn’t need it? Don’t we have free will? Mary’s cooperation here is crucial; she undoes the knot of Eve’s lack of cooperation with God, which stemmed from Eve’s lack of belief in what God told her. Mary DOES believe and she is held as an example for it as we’ll see below.

Also, in an earlier passage in Luke, Zechariah is also visited by the angel Gabriel and told his wife Elizabeth, who was barren, will conceive John the Baptist. Zechariah DOES NOT believe and has his voice taken away as a result. The two stories parallel each other in such a way as to show us what true faith looks like.

Elizabeth’s Blessing

Inspired by the Holy Spirit (that means the triune God is speaking!), Elizabeth declares Mary is blessed for believing that “what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.” She is “blessed” declares the Holy Spirit specifically for this reason! Sidenote: the Holy Spirit, through Elizabeth, also names her as “the Mother of My Lord” here; thus, the title Mother of God (“Lord” in this passage clearly refers to the Father, not the Son).

Jesus to the Woman in the Crowd

This is a verse that many take to be dismissive of Mary, but give it a second look.

“While he was speaking, a woman from the crowd called out and said to him, ‘Blessed is the womb that carried you and the breasts at which you nursed.’ He replied, ‘Rather, blessed are those who hear the word of God and observe it.'” (Luke 11: 27-28)

Do you see the blessing? Do you see how Jesus is revealing Mary as the ultimate believer, with full trust and faith in God? Jesus says Mary is not blessed because she is his mother; rather, He turns it back to her. She is blessed because she listened and had faith in God.

 Your Mother and Your Brothers

Here’s another that is taken to be dismissive of Mary, but again, I ask you to look at it with fresh eyes:

“He was told, ‘Your mother and your brothers are standing outside and wish to see you.’ He said to them in reply ‘My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and act on it.'” (Luke 8:20-21)

Why would Luke include this verse? Is it necessary that we read a seemingly unimportant moment of Jesus’ family asking to see him? No. Would Jesus be saying that Mary was not his mother? No. He would be breaking one of the Ten Commandments by not honoring his mother.

Rather Luke is reminding us of what Jesus wants to show us about Mary. Again here, Jesus says that Mary and His brethren (cousins/family) are not important because they are related to Him, but because they “heard” the word of God (listened, trusted and had faith) and were obedient to His will.

The Wedding Feast at Cana: “Woman”

Here, Jesus and Mary (the new Adam and the New Eve, not coincidentally presented at a “wedding”) attend a wedding and the bride and groom run out of wine. Mary states to Jesus, “They have no wine.” (John 2:3) (Mary also gives us a clue here about praying to Jesus: State your request and then let go and give it up to Him.)

“And Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come.'” (John 2:4)

First of all, “woman” presents Mary as the New Eve and refers back to Genesis 3:15 that says “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; They will strike at your head, while you strike at their heel.'” Mary is this woman and Jesus is her offspring; by cooperating with her Son, together they will defeat Satan. “Woman” is not meant as a derogatory term for Mary (again, would Jesus dishonor his mother?).

Second, Jesus refers to “his hour”. In John 12:23 Jesus says His hour has come, referring to His crucifixion and Resurrection. So we know that is also what He is referring to in the Cana passage. While you can make your own interpretation of this passage, I agree with experts who say Jesus essentially means: Mom, are you really ready to embark down this difficult journey that will result in my death? Once we begin, there is no turning back.

Because guess what he does? He honors his mom’s request. Thus, she spurs the beginning of his ministry and of his road to the Crucifixion. But Mary humbly leaves it up to Jesus, saying to the servers: “Do whatever he tells you.” Again, though, she has faith in God and Jesus. If it’s meant to be addressed, He will address it; if not, He will not. But she does not insert her own will into the matter beyond making the request.

This also is part of the reason why we pray to Mary. She looks after our earthly concerns, even as seemingly insignificant as running out of wine (though this would have been highly embarrassing for the married couple at the time), presenting them to her son. And when your mom asks you to do something, it has a bit more weight than anyone else. Plus, as we see in the Genesis passage, Mary cooperates with her Son in our salvation and the defeat of Satan. Mary also represents the queen mothers of the Old Testament who presented requests to their sons, the Kings, to have them granted. So many layers…

The Thread of Faith

Do you see the thread of faith weaving through all these passages about Mary? If you are struggling with complete faith or trust in God, ask Our Mother to help you. Ask her to allow you to see her son through her eyes of faith and trust. Ask her to increase your faith and trust in God.

Mary is not an intercessor for God; she only wants to bring us to her son and bring our requests to Him, as well. Doesn’t it make sense that God came to be in our midst through Mary and so going through Mary would be a way to reach God? And she is a gentle and loving mother, who lived as a human being here on earth just like we do. If she can do it, so can we. We just need to ask for help.

Blessed Mary, Ever Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Pray for Us! Amen.

The more I learn about my faith, the more I realize how key it is to understand the Bible and how very little I actually did understand it. Until I became a Catholic, I did not realize the parallels between the Old and the New Testament (something smart people call “typology” :-)) and how the New is the fulfillment of the Old and how the New is largely prefigured in the old.

For example, one of my biggest stumbling blocks of the Bible is the story Abraham willing to sacrifice Isaac. I just could not understand how a loving God would ask someone to do that. But this story really only makes sense in light of Jesus. Isaac is the pre-figurement of Jesus. God will sacrifice his only son on wood (the cross) just as Isaac was to be sacrificed on wood. You pretty much have to put on “Jesus” glasses, if you will :), in order to fully view the Old Testament.

The Bible has simply opened up for me in ways I could never have imagined, including validating the teachings of the Catholic Church today, since coming to this realization. One of the most amazing books on the faith I have found to date (second only to Matthew Kelly’s “Rediscover Catholicism”) is John Bergsma’s New Testament Basics for Catholics (Ave Maria Press, 2016). I wish this book had a more compelling title because it is SO much more than that. It is an explanation of the New Testament (in light of the Old) that is absolutely jaw-dropping — a must read for anyone who really wants to understand their faith in light of the Bible.

I have found that flat out the New Testament can be entirely misunderstood when not properly read with an understanding of the Old Testament and of the Jewish customs, words and ways of life in those times. You cannot accurately or fully comprehend what Jesus is trying to teach us without this reference point. So much gets lost — and misinterpreted! With this knowledge, not only does the Bible make sense, it’s life-altering.

Bergsma systematically goes through the Gospel of Matthew, Luke and John, Acts of the Apostles, St. Paul’s Letter to the Romans and the Book of Revelation, but he does so in conversational language that anyone can follow.

If you’ve been Catholic for a while, you’ve heard the typology of certain things like the Abraham/Isaac story above, but Bergsma provides you with so many more, many I never realized that totally blew me away. Some examples:

• The parallel of David dancing in front of the Ark of the Covenant and John the Baptist “dancing” in his mother’s womb in front of Mary, the new Ark of the Covenant
• How the items, according to Hebrews, that were contained in the Ark of the Covenant (manna, Aaron’s rod and the Ten Commandments) all look forward to Jesus: the Eucharist, priest, law-giver
• The manna in the dessert, put on display for the people to see; how we adore (sit in the presence of) Jesus, body and blood, soul and divinity in the Eucharist
• The sacrament of Confirmation, which originates in Acts of the Apostles when Peter and John must come down and lay hands on the people to fully receive the Holy Spirit, even after they were baptized.
• How the Wedding Feast at Cana identifies Jesus and Mary as the New Adam and the New Eve
• I could go on and on and on… 🙂

Throughout the book, Bergsma, who is a convert from Protestantism, goes through his former beliefs as a Protestant Minister and explains why he was wrong. It’s incredibly helpful for someone coming to the church from a Protestant background.

As far as I’m concerned, this book should be purchased and handed out to every Catholic at every church in the world and be required reading for all RCIA candidates. I’m convinced this would end much confusion over so many elements of the faith and bring people to a much greater understand of the Bible and their mission to become saints on earth.

Bergsma also has a book that goes more in-depth into the Old Testament, giving you the big picture of salvation history, in Bible Basics for Catholics. It’s also fun because he uses stick figure drawings to take you through the Old Testament and each covenant.

Joining the Church this Easter or just going through your first Lent as a Catholic? Or maybe you’re getting serious about your faith again after many years away. Congratulations on all counts! Lent is the perfect time to dive in and really get to know your faith and to begin to root out any unholiness that has crept into your life.

As a now 3-year Catholic veteran of Lent, here are my tips to maximize this penitential season as a newcomer:

1. What to give up? Probably the first thing you associate with Lent is giving something up. We do this for many reasons including reminding ourselves that we are more than just a body and need not be slaves to its every earthly whim. It helps develop self-control, and also, dare we say, creates some discomfort, and we can offer that up in union with Christ’s suffering to have redemptive benefits (to help others in some way). MY favorite reason to give up something is to begin to change bad habits that lead to sin — or are sinful. Look for something in your life you’ve gotten too attached to, that creates a habitual pleasure, pride or reveals an attachment to money. Start rooting that out by giving it up for Lent. Here’s a quiz that can also help you decide what to give up.
2. Remember to add something – Lest we get all focused on the bad, let’s remember to add something holy to our lives this Lent. Can you spend 15 minutes in quiet daily, pray the rosary every day, attend daily mass once a week, go to confession more than once, finish a Catholic book, do an act of mercy weekly, read the Church’s daily Bible verses?
3. Surviving the fast – Yes, as a Catholic, you are now required to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday (that means one regular meal and two small meals that add up to no more than one regular meal) and abstain from meat each Friday during Lent. This is a tough one, as we don’t like to be hungry (see my blog on the benefits of fasting)! The Lenten Mercy Challenge, created by MyConsecration.org (which promotes Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary) is offering help by asking you to simply fast on bread and water for lunch each Lenten Friday, along with praying just one decade of the rosary for a special intention. They hope all of us doing this in solidarity will help cause God’s Divine Mercy to be poured out on the world, which is so in need of it! Get help being accountable for your prayer and fasting in their Facebook group. You can also watch my story of how prayer paired with fasting brought about a blessing in my life.
4. Take advantage of your parish offerings – Lent has brought about many blessings in my life and it was because I put myself out there and attended services and events offered at my parish. For example, a wonderful Lenten speaker, Hector Molina, greatly inspired me last year and helped me break the ice in getting to know my fellow parishioners. I love going to Stations of the Cross on Fridays, our parish’s fish fries, all the services during Holy Week and I take off Good Friday entirely to basically spend my day in worship and prayer. It will do wonders for you spiritually.
5. Don’t overdo it – All that said, don’t overdo it or you will fail on your intentions and get discouraged. Focus on 1 thing to root out, 1 thing to add, make sure you’re fasting/abstaining, get thyself to confession at least once and attend what you can at your parish. Ok, that still sounds like a lot… 🙂 If you do mess up, don’t let that stop you from going further. Just get right back in the game. We all fail and sin and that’s why God provides us with His neverending mercy. He’s cheering you on to succeed!

What tips do you have for those new or coming back to Catholicism for Lent?

Are you struggling to feel a part of your parish? Do you walk into Mass only feeling like your fellow Catholics are passing acquaintances? Tried different activities with no luck?

Here’s the bad news: It took me 3 years at my parish before I really felt like I belonged.

The good news: I think I’ve figured out the keys to success!

After three years of actively trying to get involved and really get to know others at my parish, here are my 5 surefire tips to help you feel at home (hopefully quicker than I did ;-):

1. Get active and involved – The first step is on you; you have to make the effort and be willing to keep trying until you find the right thing. Don’t give up after your first activity or two or three or four are not a success. Keep on, keepin’ on! If I can do it for three years, so can you :). Showing up at Mass is NOT enough to get to know others.
2. Choose small group activities – You are not likely to get to know people well by attending big events like parish missions, Mass or even being one of 100 Eucharistic ministers. While these are all wonderful — and Mass, critical — things to participate in, they are not necessarily the activities that lend themselves to making friends. Select intimate book groups, small committees, small group outings, discussion groups and Bible studies.
3. Look for activities that require interactivity – Can you help with food prep for the Seder Meal where you’ll interact with others in the kitchen, go on a volunteer outing to the local food pantry, participate in a study group that requires discussion? This is how you’ll start to become more than just a face to these people.
4. Go on a retreat – If your parish has a retreat, such as Christ Renews His Parish, DO IT! Over a retreat, where you spend many hours with the same folks, you’ll develop a rapport and special camaraderie with  some (not all) of the attendees. I highly recommend Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) specifically, which has an ongoing component after the retreat. CRHP is designed to give you a group of people that you get to know REALLY well and whom you can count on to be a support group for you within your parish. CRHP is not available at all parishes but inquire if it is available at yours.
5. Learn people’s names – Once you meet someone, make an effort to commit their name to memory. Whenever you see them or give them peace at Mass, USE THEIR NAME. Make a point to ask them how they are doing, or how the weather is treating them, or how their kids are getting along in school. Continue to break the ice until it’s broken! Plus, everyone likes to hear their own name 🙂 (that’s an old Dale Carnegie trick).

Now, with those tips in mind, I’m going to tell you how it all finally turned around for me. Once I became interested in Catholicism several years ago, I began going to daily Mass quite often. I saw the same people over and over but never got to know them, because Mass is just not the place for chit-chat or in-depth discussions.

Last Lent, thanks be to God, it all changed. The wonderful Catholic evangelist Hector Molina led our parish mission. I was SO excited, having heard him on Catholic Answers on EWTN radio, that I wanted to attend everything he participated in. While he was visiting, he agreed to attend coffee after daily Mass to socialize with any interested parishioners, so you’d better bet I was there everyday. This ended up being only a small group of about 8-10 people (what a shame that so many missed out on his wisdom), and through these intimate, one-on-one discussions with Hector, where we all asked deeply personal and nagging questions about Catholicism, the ice broke. Suddenly, I had 8-10 new people I knew by name and knew something about them personally!

Around this same time, a woman who worked for our parish, whom I knew in passing because we had children the same age, invited me to coffee to ask for some public relations advice, since that is my profession. In meeting with her, I offered my time to help with several projects she had going on at church and as a result of those, met a few women, who I also could call by name.

I also finally signed up to participate in CRHP that Lenten season, and that was the final turning point. Not only did I get to know the personal stories of the women leading the retreat, but I met 8 other wonderful women who attended with me. We continued to meet weekly for a long while and now meet every so often but I continue to interact with many of them on a more frequent basis. Now I feel comfortable enough to call on them for anything I need, to ask them to meet for coffee or just to ask advice or lend an ear.

Another great activity I joined last fall was an educational study where we weekly watched the video series Epic on early Church history, and then broke into small groups to discuss afterward. This is the most like-minded group I’ve found within my church to date and is the activity I most look forward to. More friends made :). I’ve also gotten involved with RCIA and gotten to know that team of parishioners and many new Catholics, as well as agreed to teach 5th/6th grade religious education class where I’ve met yet another amazing woman who co-teaches with me.

Now, I have the problem of being asked to help out more often than I can, but I’ll take that any day. And I know SO many people at Church. This, literally, all in the course of a year. You can do it, too!

I must point out that over those three years, I signed up for many things at church that just were not a fit for me. Please know it’s OK to realize something just doesn’t work and move on to something else. You will hit upon the right thing eventually and the dividends will be marvelous!

What tips do you guys have for getting involved at your parish? How did you do it? What didn’t work?

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