As I reorder my life to be more in line with the Catholic church and what God asks of us to become more holy and more saintly, humility is a quality I come upon again and again. All through my life, it has been incredibly important to me for others to approve of what I have done – in work, in life, as a mom, as a wife. I thrive on compliments and am dismayed when someone doesn’t like work that I’ve done.

I think this speaks to the true essence of humility. Because I am concerned what others think, that is demonstrating too much pride. If I were humble, I would not care what others think. I would be doing the work for the work’s sake, to please God in that moment.

In the “Rule of St. Benedict,” the saint who developed a guide for the operation of monastaries, Benedict says we must remember that everything good we do comes from God, not us; that’s a lesson in humility. And one that I take to heart and remember in moments of pride. In fact, he lists 7 steps to humility that may not apply completely in today’s world, but which the essence of which certainly does. It’s a great, simple read and a wonderful guide to life.

I’ve also been reading some of the writings of Mother Teresa and I felt like she really explained humility well in the book “No Greater Love” (put that on your book list to read!). She says “Do not pursue spectacular deeds. We must deliberately renounce all desires to see the fruit of our labor, doing all we can as best we can, leaving the rest in the hands of God.” Also, “Never bother about people’s opinions. Be humble and you will never be disturbed. The Lord has willed me here where I am. He will offer a solution.” Beautiful…

And more recently I came across a Biblical passage noting, “God is the only judge.” Also, a great nugget to keep in mind when worry or sadness affects you based on someone else’s opinion.

Are others out there struggling with pride? Join me on this journey to become more humble and fully embrace humility. Let’s find joy in our daily work – from sweeping and laundry, to the office and our family – and do it not so someone will comment on a job well done, but because it will please God and is good for our family, ourselves and the world.

If there’s one thing I could change about the Catholic church, it would be to come up with a way for first-time visitors to feel less excluded. I think this is a big part of what kept me closed off from the church for so long.

The first time I ever went to a Catholic church was with a friend in elementary school. I don’t really remember having a good or bad experience; it was just church to me then. But I returned when dating my husband, whose family is Catholic. I definitely rebelled against it. At the time, my self-esteem was undeveloped and putting myself in a scenario with my husband’s family, on whom I wanted to make a good impression, and where I was unfamiliar, made me honestly feel “stupid” and “left out.” I had no idea what to do when, and even if I had, I’m not sure if I would have had the confidence to do it. So there I sat, not kneeling, not saying anything, not genuflecting – and all the while feeling pretty dumb and embarrassed. Anyone else experienced this? Please share!

Once you sit there … doing nothing … it’s hard to cross the threshold to “decide” to participate. As a naturally shy person, that seems to draw too much attention and spotlight and so I tend to avoid changing decisions. So I stubbornly held to my guns – not participating – whenever I attended with his family. Sorry guys!

The first time I remember feeling truly good in a Catholic setting was when we went through “pre-cana” or premarriage counseling required by the church to be married Catholic. As part of the counseling, couples must attend a retreat and I had a wonderful experience there. My husband said some wonderful things about me in front of others, which boosted my self-esteem, and I remember the peaceful feeling of being away from the noise of the outside world. No TVs, no radios, just us. And for the first time saw the beauty of the mass when we the two of us attended together, just us, in this peaceful setting.

For another SEVENTEEN YEARS after first attending church with my husband, I followed the same pattern of non participation and only attending mass when I had to – a child being baptized, etc. I will share how I came to the church in another post but it wasn’t until after I’d begun to experience a remembrance of the peace of that first retreat calling me back that I went back to mass – for me, not for anyone else. I decided then and there that I was going to give it full participation, for me and for my children to witness, and just see where I ended up.

Well, I am still learning all the right words to say when, how and when to bow and genuflect and the ins and outs required, but you know what? So are a lot of the people who sit next to me in mass. Just a couple weeks ago, in a small morning mass I attended, everyone stood up together at the wrong moment! The priest just smiled and gestured for us all to sit down. Oops!

Now, I love mass – whether I get the words right or wrong. As soon as the priest blesses us in the beginning, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, a peace washes over me and that is all that matters.

If there’s one thing I want you to know as a Catholic newbie or someone considering the Catholic religion, don’t let all the formalities keep you from mass. Follow along as best you can, sing the hymns and kneel if you want, and see where it takes you. It’s not about doing it exactly right; it’s about being there in the right spirit.

For today’s post, I thought I’d lighten things up a bit! One of the real challenges of becoming Catholic is kneeling so much!

At no other church denomination I’ve ever attended can I recall kneeling, but it’s one of my favorite parts of Catholicism. It shows so much respect, reverence, humility and piety to be willing to kneel down before your God. But boy does it hurt after a while :)…

The hardest for me has been kneeling while saying the rosary. Thank goodness for padded kneelers, but even with those, after 20 minutes on my knees, these nearly 40-year-old knees ache pretty good.

Can I say I’ve found a solution for you? Not so much… At a retreat I attended, the church there did have some sort of special stool to help, but it probably would be more appropriate for the elderly rather than a healthy individual hogging one. I also try moving my knees slightly between decades of the rosary to get the blood moving again I suppose, but not sure how much that helps.

I suppose part of what we experience as children of God is suffering. Not that kneeling is any great suffering, but it’s a reminder of suffering and the pain of Christ on the cross. A little discomfort could do us all good. It keeps us humble and reminds us God is worth the sacrifice. I suppose kneeling also helps keep us in the present moment, keeps our thoughts from floating to the worries of the day and instead focused on our knees and what it is we are doing here on our knees.

I’m thinking that after a while of praying the Liturgy of the Hours (prayers that occur at regular hours during the day) and attending Daily Mass, the old knees ought to develop some stamina. Can anyone out there confirm? Any tips on developing kneeling stamina?

One of my biggest objections in going to mass throughout my marriage to my husband, which usually was only on special occasions, was that I didn’t have a clue what was going on and that in turn made me feel stupid.

But after I heard the gentle calling and determined to take my family back to mass, I decided then and there I was going to participate fully and give it a real shot. But how to do that?

Well for starters, I picked up the guide in the back of the pew which tells you what to say at different parts of the mass. However, at our church, the guide did not seem to go in order and was quite confusing. Sometimes they said this, sometimes they said that and sometimes they didn’t say either.

So I resorted to a bunch of methods to get myself up to speed so I could fully participate and wanted to share them with you so you don’t have to reinvent the wheel!

Here are my tips for getting to know the mass as a newbie:

• Get yourself a “guide to the mass”. I actually found a book for kids at a local Catholic bookstore that explained it best to me! They break it down into the beginning where we ask forgiveness of our sins, the readings, the Apostle’s Creed, the general prayers, the Eucharist and the final blessing. It will show you the different options for saying different things at different times. Keep it close at hand :).
• Pick up the guide in the pew and hold it with you the entire mass. When you see the priest pick it up, he’s cueing you that it’s something you’ll likely need to read like the Apostle’s Creed.
• Follow everyone else (though occasional y this can backfire!). Stand when everyone stands, kneel when everyone kneels, pick up the guide card when everyone else does.
• Memorize the key portions. I found that if I didn’t make the effort to memorize the “Lamb of God” portion or the “May the Lord accept the sacrifice at your hands” portion, it took me too many months before I truly knew it. You’ll feel so much better being confident at knowing what to say with a little practice at home.
• Remember you’re not alone in learning the mass. I’ve been at mass several times now where the entire group stood by accident or failed to repeat after the priest what they were supposed to. Both times the priest handled it with a laugh. No one’s perfect!
• Attend as much as you can. The more you go, the more second nature it will become.
• Just go for it. By participating as much as you can, you’ll get the most out of it.

Here I am, nine months after attending my first mass in earnest and I still don’t know the whole thing. Every now and then the priest will throw in one of the other options I’m not as familiar with. But for the most part with a little effort to memorize portions and attend mass weekly, if not multiple times weekly, I feel like I’ve got a pretty good handle on it and that feels great. Now that I know the mass, I can focus on the spiritual side of things and not that I’m going to stand when everyone else is sitting!

Have you been intimidated or fearful at not knowing the mass? How did you handle it?