A Catholic Newbie’s Take on Confession
I’ve shared already my experience at First Reconciliation as I was going through the RCIA process earlier this year. But I wanted to hone in a little further on confession/reconciliation as a Catholic newbie, because it has quickly become one of my favorite things about Catholicism.
I have only gone three times, but wow how powerful those three times have been. Here’s what I was expecting from confession: relief and joy at being forgiven for my sins. Here is NOT was I was expecting: help at overcoming those sinful tendencies.
Much to my surprise, I have found reconciliation to be an amazing tool for self-improvement in addition to forgiveness. During my second reconciliation, my priest asked me which of the sins I was confessing did I need to work on the most. It was a no brainer, as there was one I desperately wanted to improve, but felt it beyond my power. It just kept happening, popping in my mind, even though I didn’t want it to. Well, lo and behold within the next two weeks my tendencies toward that sin literally DISAPPEARED. This was one I’ve been struggling with a long while and poof, gone. With God’s help, anything is possible.
My son needed to go to reconciliation again after his First Communion and it had been about a month since my last confession, so we both went for my third time. First of all, I met a lovely family waiting outside the confessional who hadn’t been in seven years. It was great talking with them and helped calm the fears of my 9-year-old who was so nervous about going that he had cried the first time I suggested it. He got to talk with several preteens and teens who were nervous, too. Thanks be to God!
This time, I focused on a different sin/tendency that I wanted to work on. The priest chose a passage related to that sin for me to meditate upon — and it was perfect. Though that sin has not totally died away, my tendencies toward it improved substantially.
It has now been more than a month since I’ve gone and I feel myself sliding. I desperately need to go again and gain some graces and help from our Lord. I have a new sin I want to hand over to the Lord for help with this go-around and it’s one that I’m suddenly really struggling with. I have let too many things get in the way of going to reconciliation and I need to take a moment, do my examination of conscience and get in there and do it. (Side note: The Laudate app has a great Examination of Conscience that lets you check off anything you need to work on — and you could literally review it off of your phone during reconciliation, just remember to silence your phone!).
Has anyone else found this amazing benefit of confession? Do you feel you need to go regularly not just to follow church guidance but to further your path to sainthood? Please share your experiences!
Since returning to the Sacrament, I tend to go about every two weeks. I spent many years in the wilderness before coming back to Mass and then a few more years before I found my way back to the confessional.The difference in my life has been like night and day.
Regular confession (and your examination of your conscience before it) make you confront your sins and sinful tendencies in a way that you otherwise wouldn’t. It is very easy to think that doing X or Y “isn’t really that bad, it’s not like I killed somebody or anything,” and to carry on doing little selfish things. The examination of conscience strengthens your conscience, and the Sacrament of Confession gives you graces to resist sin. I strongly recommend making Confession a regular part of your routine. As my pastor said at Mass last week, the Church only requires you to go once a year, but once a month is not too often. Get in the habit of going once a month or every two weeks. That habit has certainly helped me avoid some of the sins that used to enslave me.
Finally, I find it is useful to visit different priests for confession sometimes. My usual confessor, a Capuchin, is very quick and straightforward. You go in, you confess, he absolves you and you’re out the door. But my pastor and a different Capuchin friar that I go to often ask pointed questions about sins and prayer life, and that can be very illuminating. So, if I’m confessing my usual venial habitual sins, I go to the first priest, if I’m struggling with something knottier, I go to one of the other two.
What great advice! Thank you so much for sharing. My intention is to go once a month, but I’ve let it go past that already this time and I’m feeling the effects 🙂
Yes! I converted in 2009. I’ve told so many people about this wonderful, unexpected “side effect” of regular confession. There were tendancies towards sin that, like you, I never thought would go away. Within a few months of going to confession (monthly), I found myself no longer attached to many of those sins. I don’t go quite as often, mostly because I’m finding myself less tempted by sin. What a wonderful sacrament that isn’t utilized enough in my opinion.