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3 Reasons Catholics Have Good Sex (Don’t Click Away Just Yet :))

Catholics are prudes, repressed, and think sex is a bad thing, right? Not so fast! Turns out Catholics may be having better sex than the rest of the world. Let me tell you why…

But first, no worries, this is not an inappropriate post. This is simply a look into God’s plan for sexuality, nothing offensive included. I promise :).

This is a post I’ve been wanting to write for a long time, because I think it’s incredibly important for others to know what Catholicism teaches about sex and why it holds these teachings.  And, whaddayaknow, when you follow God’s plan, joy ensues! God is so smart ;-).

3 Reasons Why Catholics Have Good Sex

I truly believe that when you follow the Catholic Church’s teachings on sexuality, you will enjoy the best experiences of sexuality that God intended us to have. By holding to the act’s original purpose, living chastely, removing barriers and freely giving of yourself to one person, you will be living the life God has called you to, and you will experience the true “joy of sex.”

1.  Catholics hold to the act’s ultimate purpose: procreation.

Catholics remember the purpose of sexual relations. Guess what society? It’s not about making yourself “feel good” by whatever means and whenever you please. By divorcing sex from its purpose—procreation—we have created a whole range of problems in our world.

When you have sex only to feel good, it leads to objectification of women (heard much about that lately?), partners feeling used and worthless as only an object of pleasure, and frankly, it takes the fun out of it.

Remember in high school when you could only sneak alone time with a boyfriend or girlfriend on occasion? It wasn’t just an “anytime you feel like it” affair. When you have to restrict yourself from sexual activity, because it’s not a married relationship or your spouse isn’t available, the time you do have together is all the more appreciated.

When you open yourself to the act’s true purpose, to create children, that causes you to wait until you are ready for children, and, thus, removes fear from the act, as well. You can enjoy it in its fullness, because whatever the act produces, you’re ready.

Finally, this is why the Church teaches that acting on attractions to the same sex is not God’s plan. Those actions cannot result in children and so it is not God’s intention. That is THE purpose for sex and the act must be open to it.

The Church welcomes anyone who feels attracted to the same sex; they simply ask that you don’t act on it. Many people in this world have disordered desires that are not anyone’s fault. You simply have to learn not to act on them with the support of others and to go to confession when you do. If you experience these feelings, this may be God calling you to the vocation of the single life.

2.  Catholics take out selfishness.

When it comes to sex, Catholics aren’t selfish. Sexuality is, again, not about pleasing ourselves. Sure, God made it pleasureable because he wanted us to “be fruitful and multiply,” and if it wasn’t appealing, it probably wouldn’t happen—at least not enough.

We’re already seeing societies who have declining birthrates and what a scary situation that is. Have you watched “The Handmaiden’s Tale”? That’ll give you a taste of what society might be like if we are no longer fruitful.

Sexual selfishness=masturbation. Again, if you can please yourself, whenever and wherever you want, you decrease the joy you experience when enjoying the act together with your spouse, as it was meant to be. By avoiding self-pleasure, you also store up that sexual desire and energy that can be spent with your spouse instead of wasted on a selfish act because you want it “right now.” Anticipation is a joy in itself!

Cut masturbation out of your life and see if your sexual relations with your spouse don’t improve.

Pornography is another example of selfish sexuality (and much more than that). You desire to feel pleasure right now, so you turn on the computer and off you go. Save it for your spouse.

Covenant Eyes is a great program that helps you put barriers in place to prevent you from this sexual temptation. Please note the link to Covenant Eyes is an affiliate link for which I may earn a commission if you make a purchase after clicking through; however, I only recommend products I know and love.

Here’s more about what I think Catholics Need to Know About Pornography.

Finally, abortion is the ultimate act of selfishness–what is convenient for me, me, me. While I understand the stresses and fear of unexpectedly becoming a parent, it is no justification for killing a human being. And again it divorces the act from its intention. If you can simply go “get rid of the baby” should you conceive one, the act becomes only about pleasing oneself.

3.  Catholics remove barriers like contraception, so men and women can fully give of themselves.

Catholicism Contraception - birth control pills

Catholicism’s teaching against contraception was definitely an issue I struggled with when joining the Church. I certainly understood the promotion of life and complete rejection of abortion, but why were birth control pills or condoms harmful?

The Church teaches that these methods put a barrier between the man and the woman. A husband and wife are a reflection of the Holy Trinity. Like the flow of love between God the Father and God the Son, Jesus, that fruitfully produces the Holy Spirit, so the flow of love between a husband and wife is meant to be fruitful with a child where God wills it.

When you put a barrier between that love, you stop God’s will from being done and from the possibility that it will be fruitful.

We co-operate with God in the creation of new life. It takes human effort—the sexual act between a man and a woman—partnering with God who grants that new life a soul to create a new human being. We cut God out of the equation when we limit sexual relations’ fruitfulness.

Also, I learned that birth control pills are actually classified as a carcinogen, meaning they cause cancer! Why would I want to put that in my body? And I also learned that the hormones you take in the pill thwart your desire for your spouse. That, too, is not part of God’s plan.

Stop with the pill—and all contraception—and again watch your sex life improve! This is reason No. 3 why Catholics are having good sex. 🙂

If you have a spouse who’s not up for getting rid of contraception, my advice would be to pray a novena to your favorite saint and then open a dialogue with your spouse and see what happens.

Additionally, if you do happen to conceive anyway when taking the pill, the hormones can keep the embryo from attaching to the uterine wall and thus abort the baby. What a horrifying thing that many women do not realize!

Catholics do teach a method that allows you to naturally avoid conception if you feel it’s not a good time for your family. If you’ve ever learned your fertility signals in an effort to HAVE children, you use the same signals to avoid conception. You simply avoid sexual relations the few days a month when your body is fertile.

When following the Church’s teaching, Catholics are open and free, enjoying their sexuality within a healthy committed married relationship—and I’m betting experiencing the best sex of anyone!

What do you think?

Of course, some men and women choose to give their sexuality as a gift to God in the imitation of Jesus, choosing to forgo sexual relations. What a wonderful—and abundantly fruitful—sacrifice!

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Pornography Addiction Help for Catholics

Pornography addiction help

There is no doubt that pornography is an epidemic in our culture. It’s become so commonplace that most of society sees it as no big deal. I was one of those a few years ago. What did it hurt if someone looked at a few images in the privacy of their own home? But it’s an addiction and where you do you find pornography addiction help?

Note: This post contains affiliate links for which I may earn a small commission to support the Catholic Newbie blog if you make a purchase after clicking through. Thanks for your support!

After reading so much more about this issue since converting to Catholicism, I understand why it’s bad for individuals … and bad for society. First, here are some things I think every Catholic needs to know about pornography followed by pornography addiction help and resources.

4 Things Catholics Need to Know About Pornography

1.  Pornography removes the purpose of God’s plan for sexual intimacy.

What was that plan? Procreation. Sure, he wants us to enjoy the uniting of one man and one woman, which is why sex is inherently good and pleasurable, but it must be used as God intended.

Pornography displays sex as simply for the act itself, as a way to derive as much pleasure from the act as we can while divorcing it from its real purpose, which is to bring life into the world between ONE man and ONE woman who are committed to one another.

By watching continued pornography, your view of sex is skewed, and you reduce the chances of having a normal sexual relationship with your current or future spouse. When you divorce sex from the creation of life, it has lost its meaning and its purpose and becomes disordered.

2.  Pornography harms those involved.

The people you are watching who are involved in these acts are not being treated as God’s children with dignity, value and fairness. They are being used as a vessel for or a means to another’s pleasure. They are likely not being paid fairly or treated nicely.

Pornography is a big business and some greedy person on the other end of the camera is the one who is abusing others and deriving all the monetary benefits. You are only furthering that evil and greed by participating as a viewer.

As a Christian, we should pray for those involved in this industry and do our part not to support it in any way.

3.  Pornography greatly harms children. 

Pornography is everywhere and our children are coming across it in droves. It harms them SO much. They immediately misunderstand what sex is about. They see it as simply a means to pleasure, and they will not understand all the disordered sexual activities they witness that others use to bring about worldly pleasure for themselves.

I recently learned that one of my kiddos had seen pornography — on YouTUBE, which is not supposed to have graphic material — and it had a tremendous impact on him. I am so sad that I will never be able to undo what he has seen, those visuals forever in his brain and the impact it will have on him as a man.

We must get rid of pornography parading about in nearly every medium, free, uncensored and easy to access.

4.  It’s a temptation.

Viewing pornography is a temptation to sin, just like any other temptation: gossiping, stealing, lying. To avoid falling prey to this temptation, either men or women, we must remove it from our lives.

I always teach my children that if you are tempted by something, don’t put it in front of you. If it’s not there, you can’t act on it. Shopaholic? Don’t go shopping.

Tell your spouse you have decided not to view pornography any more for accountability and hold to it. Place a filter like Net Nanny (they offer a 14-day free trial) on all devices both for  your kids and YOU. It will hold you accountable and keep you from viewing things you should not.

Place computers in public areas of your home, knowing you won’t view objectionable material in front of your family. If you fall, resolve not to do it again, go to confession to seek forgiveness and try, try again.

5. There IS help.

You are far from alone in battling this temptation, and plenty of great Catholic programs, many of them free, exist to help you overcome the desire to view pornography whether you’re in Pittsburgh, PA or Seattle, Washington. There are so many people who suffer from this in silence all around the world that we may never know.

Here are some outstanding resources to get started.

Catholic Pornography Addiction Help & Resources

If you view pornography, today is the day to stop this addictive habit. First, acknowledge and understand why it is a problem and then begin the process of getting help.

Let us pray for everyone who is tempted by pornography and especially our children who have been exposed!

Is pornography an issue in your life or in your family? Have you been able to kick the pornography addiction habit?

Read More:

When Your Husband or Wife Hasn’t Converted

Catholic Marriage TipsI know many who struggle with a husband or wife who hasn’t converted to Catholicism or who may be Catholic but their heart hasn’t been converted. This is a difficult cross to bear and takes time, prayer and patience.

I am previewing a copy of Intimate Graces (Ave Maria Press, 2015) by Teresa Tomeo (Pastore) and her husband Deacon Dominick Pastore, which looks at marriage through the lens of the Works of Mercy. In it, the couple discusses a time when Dominick had returned to the faith but Teresa had not, and they offer some wise words that I thought would be helpful to many:

“If you find yourself right now on the faith fast track, don’t try to force your spouse to get behind the wheel. Pray. Invite her to attend Mass with you and once in a while to a church event, then let her be and pray some more. The more you pray, the more peaceful you will be. It was the peace that Dominick had that finally won Teresa over.”

How wonderful! Pray that you might be such an example of joy and God’s saving love and mercy, that your spouse will desire it for his or herself.

If you’d like to read Intimate Graces, you can preorder a copy. It is scheduled to be released Oct. 2, 2015.

I received a complimentary review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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