Monthly Archives: January 2013

How I Came to Conversion

Becoming CatholicI’ve long intended to share how I “came around” to Catholicism because it truly shocks me utterly to the core!

It’s not that it was some huge, dramatic moment, but the simple fact of me becoming Catholic is nothing I could ever have imagined and would have argued with you about vehemently had you told me it would happen.

While exposed to different churches growing up, I always felt most comfortable in a spiritual, but non-religious environment.

I spent many years studying various New Age philosophies and always believed in God but not religion as a requirement to get to God. However, through all that, I never felt like I was given a solid, specific path to self-improvement.

It was all wishy-washy, try this, do that and disorganized, so I never got very far on that path. Read my post on Catholicism as a specific, proven path to self-improvement.

Right about Christmas 2011 is when I experienced my “calling.” I don’t even know what words to give this. I’ve heard “calling” and “conversion of heart” but to me, it’s like I was suddenly given the eyes of faith. Never before was I willing to believe in Jesus as the son of God because my very logical mind would not accept it. But once I was given the “eyes of faith,” it didn’t need to be “proven” to me; suddenly, I could just “feel” how right it was.

It started some years before that when I began to feel a very faint desire and interest in revisiting  the place where my husband and I spent our Catholic marriage retreat. I felt “pulled” or “drawn” there is the best way I can describe it. It was deep in the recesses of my mind or perhaps it was the stirrings of the Holy Spirit I was feeling.

I ignored it for a couple years, though did a few things like looking up the retreat house on the web and learning more about it. I would eventually go back to the retreat house and spend a silent retreat that led me to this blog.

All of a sudden around Christmas 2011, I began to feel more strongly that I’d like to try going to Catholic Mass. So we packed up the whole family and off we went.

My husband is a cradle Catholic, though not practicing. Never had I been interested in Catholicism and in fact was turned off by it (read more in my blog here about my misgivings about Catholicism).

But when I went this time, it didn’t seem so bad. In fact, if I dared admit it, it felt kind of good.

We came back for Christmas Eve Mass and sometime thereabouts I decided to give it my full effort, kneeling, singing and reading the responses.

The first positive feelings I experienced besides “not so bad” were complete and utter peace, something I really feel was lacking in my life as the mother of two young boys and owner of my own small business. This simple respite of peace once a week was delightful.

The positive feelings grew from there into a great “thirst” and unquenchable desire to learn everything I could and attend Mass as often as possible, and then complete and utter “joy.”

I feel like perhaps this happened at Christmas, because this is when we celebrate Christ’s conception and coming into the world. I feel like the Holy Spirit allowed Christ to be conceived in me at this time.

I think after Christmas Eve Mass 2011 I never missed a Mass before confirmation. And it was less because I was obligated to go as a future Catholic and more because I couldn’t stand to miss.

To me, this is utterly a miracle and I can explain it no other way.

I still stop and say “is this me?” and begin to question myself a bit, but when I go back to the feelings I receive when in communion with the Lord, I “get it” again and again and again.

As for advice for those of you considering Catholicism, pray that you experience a “conversion of heart” like I did and that you are given the “eyes of faith.”

I am not sure why I was called now and suddenly given this gift; I suspect I had some people — both on earth and in heaven — praying for me :).

Open your heart, participate in Mass, read about Catholicism and see where it leads you. I hope it leads you to the place of peace that I have found.

Little Signs

New to CatholicismI once read somewhere to keep a list of “signs” or little miracles that happen to you on your journey of faith. When you have a moment of doubt or are going through a particularly difficult time, it can be a wonderful list to review and revive your faith. What a beautiful idea!

Since I’ve begun my journey toward Catholicism I have had so many little signs that have confirmed to me that I’m on the right path. I never took the time to write them down and I’ve forgotten many, of course. But whenever I stop and start to question myself on this path, which I never could have imagined myself headed down, I remember some of the little signs and go “oh yeah!”

For those who are struggling with Catholicism, let me assure you I did, too, for many, many years. Let me share with you some of the things that have happened to me that have quelled my skepticism and filled me with faith:

  • I can’t count the number of times that I read one Bible verse somewhere only to come across it within 24 hours in another totally unexpected place. It seems whatever I’m reading on my own that theme reverberates throughout my life in countless ways. As one of a gazillion examples :), I’ve been reading the Bible daily and was working through First Corinthians. One of the readings at Mass Sunday was on the unique spiritual gifts we all receive. What do you know? I got to that verse during my own reading the very same evening. To experience this, I encourage you to go to daily Mass when you can, read books, sign up for emails like the Catechism in a Year, tweet, read blogs, etc. This will allow the “themes” you’re meant to see to come to you.
  • I am surrounded by others in my life, who also somewhat unexpectedly came to the Catholic faith, just as I did. This assures me that it’s not just me and it’s meant to be for all of us right now.
  • When attending a silent retreat, the idea for this blog was given to me clear as can be after much prayer.
  • Several changes in my career/vocation in life have come to me seemingly as divine messages delivered in my every day life (not at Mass or church) by people who just happen to be Catholic. I like to think God is using them, unbeknownst to themselves, as secret messengers to me :).
  • There are certain people in my life who seem to serve as earthly guardian angels to me, who always seem to pop up at the right time with just the right encouragement, support or advice. I would say it’s uncanny, but it’s not. It’s divine!

These are the little signs that show me I’m on the right path. Not that I needed them, because the “feeling” I have is so right, but in case I forget, there they are… It’s amazing when you are given the eyes of faith, how much you “see” and “hear” and “feel” and how that leads you right to where you should be.

What are some of your little signs? Please share!

Leading My Children in the Catholic Faith

Children and prayerAs I have embraced the Catholic faith with much enthusiasm, I want my kids to embrace it too. So I’ve been working over the last several months to work the faith into their daily lives.

I want to be sure that I don’t make it a “have to” for them so that they grow to resent it or want to get away from it. I welcome ideas from moms and dads out there about how you inspire your kids in the faith and make it something positive that they embrace.

Here is what I have done at home thus far and please share any suggestions for what you do with your kids:

  • Nightly prayer before bed
  • Make the sign of the cross on their foreheads as their “blessing” before bed and they do it for me as well. It’s become a lovely little tradition :).
  • Nightly work in some sort of Bible story or information from a Catholic kids book (may be about a saint or a Bible story).
  • Occasionally say one decade of the rosary for one of their friends who needs help or their recently passed Grandma. This needs to become at least weekly, I think.
  • Attend Mass weekly.
  • Attend religious education weekly.
  • Talk more about the importance of helping others and regularly try to engage them in an activity where we are donating/giving to others in need.
  • Hung crucifixes in both of their rooms.
  • Recently had a visit from one of our parish priests where  he blessed us, the house and the dog ;-).

Other ideas I’d like to do but really haven’t yet:

  • Have a weekly family meeting where we say a prayer together and discuss tasks for the week, concerns, etc.
  • Once a month, instead of eating out, have PB&J at home and donate the money we saved to an organization we all choose.
  • Put a portion of any gift money or allowance money they receive into a charitable giving fund which they can donate to the organization of their choice.
  • Possibly take my almost 9 year old to Adoration for 5-10 minutes at first.

What else can I do to make this a positive experience? I truly appreciate your feedback and thoughts either here or on Twitter where I post at @ACatholicNewbie.

 

Obedience, A Tough Christian Virtue

Catholic prayerObedience has been the theme for me today. First, an unusual dream that seemed in an odd way to speak to obedience, then a blog post I read on Mary’s incredible obedience to the word of God and today’s 9 a.m. Liturgy of the Hours New Testament reading:

“Free your minds, then, of encumbrances; control them and put your trust in nothing but the grace that will be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. Do not behave in the way that you liked to before you learnt the truth, but make a habit of obedience.” — Peter, 1:13-14

This passage really spoke to me. It’s not one I’ve seen before but sums up perfectly what I’m striving for right now. I am trying to restructure my life more toward God and the path of righteousness, rid myself of the unproductive ways of life before I gained faith. I’ve slowly made some changes over the last year and have set religious resolutions for 2013 that are more strict and specific.

But the only path to success in maintaining those is obedience. It is tough, especially for us Americans, so independent minded, to be willing to follow the ways of someone/something other than ourselves and what we want.

The passage speaks of “habit” — doing the new tasks continually until they become ingrained. Instead of watching TV for another hour at night, I’m going to read the Bible. Instead of sleeping in an extra hour on Fridays, I’m going to get up and go to 6:30 mass.

It’s all about willpower and surrendering the will. I made the choice last year to give up what I thought was my dream only to realize and accept it wasn’t God’s will. I began to listen to the other ideas He had for me and I continue to be open to follow his lead, whatever it may be.

The benefit of obedience to God: peace and joy. Pretty good perks 🙂